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By: amber
I think it’s cute, and I have a few comments. Your punctuation is a little off in the Cow story, and at the beginning you use the word ‘strong’ in one form or another a few too many times. Get rid of...
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By: kpsimmon
Alexia-Thanks for your responses! I will check on that for the Bella story. For the dystopian: It is not backstory. The next 2 paragraphs start the action really, but the first two build the tension....
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Nicole, Lora, Amber, and Alexia- I have checked it over and made changes per your suggestions. Thanks so much! KP
View ArticleBy: Donna Perugini
Since i write Picture Book genre, I’m always cutting words. In an Early Reader, do they also cut extra words? Example: “Bella, you are too young for a cowbell. We’ve already explained why. (to you.)...
View ArticleBy: Josh
Sounds like a cute story. You could easily leave off the to in this sentence “We’ve already explained why to you” it would make it sound more realistic.
View ArticleBy: kathy stemke
The cow story has a cute start. As a retired teacher myself, I agree that some bigger words are good for kids to expand their vocabulary. I’d like to see more action and more senses in the beginning of...
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By: kpsimmon
Thanks Kathy! I agree completely on the novel suggestions. Like I said, I’m just starting and it’s just a first draft that you are reading right now.
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Hi Donna! I’m not sure if it applies or not. I’ve never heard of that for an Early Reader but I have for Picture Books… I think I’ll check that out tonight! Thanks again! KP
View ArticleBy: LisaAnn
Love Bella the cow, and I definitely like this tighter version a lot. It sounds like you have chosen every word with precision, and I’m dying to know what the one condition is! I will be interested to...
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By: kpsimmon
Thanks LisaAnn! Yes, I’m wondering if I should start with another scene for the dystopia novel. I’ve been thinking things over a bit!
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